......ah+ harfe man(sina)

Cna chera dari aziatam mikoni....?Cna to ke midooni dari zajram midi...chera bazam be karet edame midi...?Cna ...to be man gofti nagoo..man ham goftam chashm ...hala ham gofti begoo bazam migam chashm....midooni har do baresh ham bar khalafe meylam boode...vali baazm migam chashm...Cna midooni az chi daram azab mibinam...baazm hamoon kar ro mikoni...Cna hala to goosh kon...man asalan gharar nabood raje be to harf bezanam...yani in ham az hamoon natije giri haye ajoolane ye "lohrasP-sina"yi bood...in ham az hamoon kar hayi bood ke man daram khodamo jer midam ke befahmid baba in joori tasmim nagirid...lohrasP nazan too paye bahram...lohrasP felan kar ro nakon...na Cna man be to kamtar az in harfa zadam vali khob age mizadam ham tavajoh nemikardi....daghighan mese hamin mozoo ke man behet goftam Cna....khahesh mikonam...lotfan lotfan lotfan lotfan lotfan lotfan in ghazia ro tamoom kon....asan hesab kardi...?na Cna narahat nistam....etefaghan khoshhalam...vase inke vaghti to be man goti lotfan lotfan lotfan lotfan lotfan...eyne ye adame ram shode goftam chashm Cna jan....vali Cna jan...bazam migam...inghadr sari tasmim nagir....inghadr sari vakonesh nade...ye darsad ehtemal bede ke oon kari ke mikhay anjam bedi eshtebahe...midoonam ke alan ham hich tavajohi behem nemikoni...vali bekhoda....be hamoon khodayi ke man miparastamesh man ba pegah nemikhastam dar morede to harf bezanam....hamoon rooz ham goftam ba pegah mikhastam dar morede pegah harf bezanam...hala ham azat khahesh mikonam in bahso tamoom koni....
in post bad az inke befahmam ke sina khoonde pak khahad shod....bebakhshid....
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hamoon tor ke midoonid ya nemidoonid in post ro man neveshtam(2)...chan shab pish ino neveshtam...inke chera inja neveshtam ro sina midoone...gharar shod pak konam...khodesh hamoon shab pak kard va behem etela dad...ama fardash dobare gozasht...man pakesh kardam...ama oon bazam gozasht...fek konam inbar baraye bare 4ome ke in post dobare roo blog dide mishe...khob dige dast nemizanam...:
Cna jan age to delet mikhad in inja bashe, khob bashe...faghat ino bedoon ke dige kari bahat nadaram...fek konam khodet intori rahat tari...asan har ghalati mikhay bokoni bokon...behet migam eshtebah kardi...ghabool nemikoni...be darak...hamino mikhasti...?are hamino mikhasti...
mikhasti mano zajr bedi ke alan be hadde ala resoondi...

ba arze mazerat az hamegi...felan khodahafez ta etelae sanavi....!
hanooz ham migam...:khosh bashid...ke khoshie man be khoshie shomast...
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in chand rooz kheili halam bad bood, az hame chi. daghighan be har chizi ke fekr mikardam ye chizi ingar angolakam miakrd. dishab baraye inke aroom tar besham, ba LohrasP sohbat kardam. akhare sohbatemon be LohrasP goftam ke bezar bebinam man ta koja mitoonam tahamol konam. age be jaii residam ke dige nemitoonestam tahamol konam, miram va baSaleh sohbat mikonam. be internet ke vasl shodam didam ke Saleh zire post ye chizi ezafe karde. geryam gereft va matne ziro nebeshtam. vali natoonestam ke tu weblog bezaram. emrooz ham be Saleh neshon dadam, ham be LohrasP. hala ham inja mizaram matni ro ke dishab nebeshtam:

khob shayd behtar bashe ke manam ye chizi begam, hade aghal manam harfamo zadam. man in karaiy ke in chand rooz kardamo be khatere in nakardam ke to bekhay in harfo bezani ("fagaht ino bedoon ke dige kari be karet nadaram...fek konam konam khodet intori rahat tari...asan har ghalati mikhay bokoni bokon(...)"); man oon kara ro kardam be khatere inke dashtam zajr mikeshidam va mikhastam ke ye joori az zire in azab biam biroon. gofti messenger nadari, gofti az khone nemitooni beri tu gmailet; khob, yahoo mail nabood? tel nabood? madrese hamo nemididim ke inja bar dashti nebeshti? behem migi daram eshtebah mikonam. chera nemigi ke darma dar morede chi eshtebah mikonam. chera ye band migi ke eshtebah mikoni? chera behem nemigi ke eshtebaham kojast? chera behem nemigi ke dorostesh chie? chera mizari man paa dar hava bemonam ke dar biam ye kari bokonam ke to narahat beshi va dar biay in harfa ro bezani? ghabol nadari ke shoma haa ham mano aziat mikonid ta haddi? shayad age harfa yadam nemimond kheili az in etefagha nemioftad. pas khodet ham ghabol kon ke age miomadi har chi boodo be man migofti kheili behtar bood.
dar omadi behem gofti ke rabetat ba Pegah tarif nashodast. rabteye khdoet ba shyda chi? rabetat ba Pegah? rabetat ba Sanaz? mitoonam beporsam? Pegah to chi? to che sanami ba Saleh dari?
Pegah to be man ghol dadi, nadadi? vali ziresh zadi. karesh nemishe kard. hich karesh nemishe kard. mikhasti fekram mashgholet nabashe, nabood, vaghean nabood. be khodetam goftam, be hame goftam, nemidoonam chandtaatoon bavar kardid, nemidoonam; vali ino midoonam ke khodeto (Pegah) bavar nakardi hanooz. vali bezar ye chizio rastesho behet begam, alan zehnam mashghole, mashghole to, mashghole Saleh, mashghole Sanaz, mashghole in majara, va serfan hers khordan va gerye kardan. gerye na baraye inke hasrate rabetei ke ba to dashtamo bokhoram, na aslan in toori nist. nemidoonam chera geryam dar miad, dar miad dige, chi kar konam, in ghadr zajr mikesham ke ba gerye aroom misham.
ino be hamatoon migam, be hame. kheili az in raftar badam miad, na, motenaferam ke kesi be dalile inke hale man bad tar beshe, chizi ro be man nage. mora'ate hale mano bokone va nakhad hale man bad tar beshe va hafesho nazane; nemidoonam badesh chi kar kone, bere be yeki dige bege, aslan nage, faramosh kone, faramosh nakone; vali be har hal az in raftar badam miad, na, motenaferam.
ye chize dige. Saleh, midooni ke man che ghadr be maman babam va khanevadam vabastam. age hamin alan 3tatyshon jolom bemiran, fekr nakonam ke narahat besham. khoshhal ham nemisham, vali narahat ham nemisham. vabastegim sefre. hich kaso kare nazdiki ham ke nadaram ke khaste basham behesh vabastegi dashte basham. mimoone doosatam. biroon az madrese va tu kooche mahal ke hich doosti nadaram, hichkio nemishnasam; yani fagaht mimone doostaye madrese va Sanaz va Pegah. baraye tamame doostaye madrese marzo harim gozashtam. khodet mibini; tu jam kesi be man tike nemidaze, maskharam nemikone, sar be saram nemizare, shokhi baham nemikone. vali baraye shoma 3ta (to,Idin va LohrasP) mesle Sanaz va Pegah hich hado marzi nazashtam. taa har jaa ke khastid gozashtam biain az man sar dar biarin. khodam mishestam behetoon dar morede gozashtam migoftam, man khodam miomadam va behetoon dar morede etefaghati ketu khonevadam oftadaro baratoon tarif mikardam. in karo mikardam ke bedoonid man che chizaii ro poshte sar gozashtam. bedoonid ke chera az margeshon narahat nemisham. ta har ja har kodometoon khastid behtoon rah dadam va midam va khaham dad. chizi ke mikham alan begam ro fekr konambar haa va bar haa goftam, "man kesio be gheir az shoma 5 nafar nadaram", ino be hamatoon goftam, zendegie man shoma haa hastid. hichi dige nadaram, hichi. mikhay hala beri? mikay halaa be khatere in mozoo, dige kari be karam nadashte bashi? che joori mitooni begi "fek konam khodet intori rahat tari...asan har ghalati mikhay bokoni bokon...behet migam eshtebah kardi...ghabool nemikoni...be darak...hamino mikhasti...?are hamino mikhasti... mikhasti mano zajr bedi ke alan be hadde ala resoondi... " ? han? man khastam to ro zajr bedam? man ino mikhastam? na, nemikham begam age mikay beri boro. mikham be paat bioftam behet begam ke dooset daram Saleh, mikham jolot be paa bioftam, mikham joolot ba khak bioftam va gerye konam, mikham jolot nale konam, mikham jolot khon gerye konam behet begam Saleh dooset daram, Saleh dooset daram, Saleh dooset daram, Saleh dooset daram. delam mikhad ghalade doore gardanam bendazi, mano har ja ke delet mikhad bebari begi nigash koni in moredi mane. manam dad bezanam Saleh dooset daram, Saleh dooset daram. delam mikhad be paat bioftam eltemaset konam, delam mikhad be goh mano bekeshi va kenaram bashi, delma mikhad behet begam Saleh dooset daram. delam mikham saramo bezaram roo baghalat va zaar zaar gerye konam va begam ke Sakeh dooset daram, Saleh dooset daram...