Wednesday, May 17, 2006

khob... hata alan hosele nadaram ke kalamehaaye engilisi ro poshte ham bechinam... hosele nadaram kalamate 2pahloo be kaar bebaram o jomlehaayi benevisam ke azash 2mani beshe bardasht kard... na hata jomalaate zirakane... yaa chizayi ke shayad kasi azash hich nafahme...
aslan hosele nadaram ke kalamat ro poshte sare ham bezaram o fekr konam ke che shekli ghashang tare... hata hosele nadaram ke oon kalamate englisiyi ke vasate jomlehaam be kar mibordamo be kaar bebaram... dige noe harf zadanam, lohrasPi nist tooye khoone... hata dige almani ham tike nemindazam... jomlehaaye ingilisi ham nemigam... engar doost daram hameye zaboona az yadam bere... hata farsi... nemikham sohbat konam... .
delam mikhad mesle oon filme, adame laal basham... ta hame azam entezaare sohbat kardan nadashte bashan...

delam nemikhast benevisam... chon ke shomare 2, in posto hamin emrooz gozashte bood... va khob najoor bood age manam mizashtam... vali nemitoonam jeloye khodamo begiram... khob?!... pas bebakhshid...

midooni... [ tahala tavajoh kardi ke kheyli jomlehaamo baa "midooni" shooroo mikonam?!... age are, pas hatman midooni ke tooye che mavagheyi ham "midooni" ro migam... ] emrooz baham avale ax endakht... khob are... ehsase khoobi boodesh... ki mige ehsase badi boodesh?!... vali ye chizi dasht behem migoftesh ke: " alan age delet bekhad, rahat mitooni hegh hegh gerye koni... ". ye chizi dasht jelomo migereft ke ehsase ghooroor konam baaz... ke lezzat bebaram az in harekat... ye chizi dasht jeloye lezzat bordanamo az inke ye alame avali o dovomi shomareye mobilamo azam mikhastan, migereft... heh... maskharast... .
ye chizi bood ke vaghty 2bare ye alame adam manno add kardan, bad az raftane tooye persianhiphop, nazasht labkhand bezanam... nazasht eyne hamishe keif bokonam... akhe midooni... hamishe sare in chizaa khoshhal misham kolli... ki khoshhal nemishe?!...

to, adame khodkhaah o maghroori hasty... hata oon azam nakhast ke inja bemoonam... vali to?! to gofty bayad bemooni... va in kari ke alan dari mikonio, shooroo kardi anjam dadan... asabani?! na...
na omid...
va khoshhal...
na omid az hamechiz va khoshhal az inke be hadafam residam...

nemidoonam... alan sare nakhe hameye chizaayi ke mikhastam begam az dastam dar raft...

emrooz hata ba sina khodahafezi ham nakardam... bahame khodahafezi kard! vali man nakardam... goftam ke alan vaghte khodahafezi nist! khob maloome... man tahamole khodahafezi ro nadaram... va alan vaghte khodahafezi nist... mogheye khodahafezi be andazeye kafi sakht khahad bood... lazem nist chandbaar tekrar beshe... va kasayi ke khodeshoono az oon khodahafeziye nahayi mikhan khalas bokonan, khodkhaah hastan... kheyli ziyad khodkhaah... vali shayad dige mohem nabashe... midooni daram chi migam?!

vaghty khoondam : " LohrasP vaghan dare mire?! : ", ghashang tanam moor moor shod...
ya vaghty shenidam ke oona goftan : " LohrasP, chand vaghte afsordast kheyli, maahaa narahat o negaranim... ye kaary bokon... " ... faghat nemidoonestan ke daran be shakhse eshtebaah migan... shakhse eshtebaah...

emrooz too cheshaat ashk jam shode bood
rahat bood didanesh?! javabe soalo khodet midooni...
ardeshir goft yeho behem alaghe peyda karde...
ali modam say mikard nazdikam beshine...
arman goft baa man miyad...
saman goft mano baghal kon...
khob hame daran say mikonan dige... mage na?! pas chera yeki nemitoone jeloye in ashkaam o begire?! chera halam behtar nemishe akhe... chera hata ye lahze ehsase garmaa tooye voojoodam nemikonam?! chera hanooozam vaghty mibinam ke tooye TV, yeki daste yeki digaro migire, bazam doost daram ke yeki dastamo begire?! haan?! chera hanooz gorosneye mohabatam, mogheyi ke inhame dare behem mohabat mishe...?! mage divoonam?! mage ravaniam?! mage oghdeyiyam?! shayad... shayad oghdeyi basham... nemidoonam... vali hanoozam mogheyi ke tooye television mibinam ke yeki daste oonyekiro navazesh mikone o mohabati tooye cheshaash bargh mizane ke be adam aramesh mide, delam mikhad ke manam dashte basham...
pouf... shayad be khatere ine ke 2nbalesh nemigardam... shayadam be khatere ine ke vaghan oghdeyiyam... vali key tahala goftam ke felan chizo niaz daram ?! be joz chand taa adame khaas...?! amir geryash gerefte bood vaghty ke man larz gerefte boodam... parham rangesh sefid shode bood... mage inaa neshooneye mohabat nist?! pas akhe chera?! yeki be man tozih bede... man dige kam ovordam... chera man aroom nemisham?!
parham emrooz dastesho borid... yani mitoonestam khafash bokonam be khatere inke movazebe khodesh naboode... asabamo khoord karde bood... mage in neshooneye in nist ke man doosesh daram?! pas ham behem mohabat mishe, ham mohabat mikonam! hata be adamayi ke azashoon ziyad khosham ham nemiyad mohabat mikonam! aroomeshoon mikonam! va be khatereshoon be sina migam ke : " MANZOORET CHIYE?! " . shayad chon dooseshoon daram o khodam nemidoonam... vali baeed midoonam... bisthar be khatere ine ke dige tahamole poshte sare ham harf zadan o maskhare bazi ro nadaram...
dige hosele nadaram ke hamdigaro maskhare konan... va man hardafe oonjaa basham...
are saleh, shayad daram zood tasmim migiram... shayad bazam daram ahmagh bazi dar miyaram... vali age inshekli nasham bazi moghehaa, dige adam nistam! hastam?! bayad ye chizaayi bashe ke be atraafiyanam neshoon bede ke key che joori hastam! yaa inke chi, az ye sery chizaaye dige vasam mohem tare! vagarna age mesle aidin basham, key mitoonestam befahmoonam ke felan chiz vasam moheme, yaa felan chiz aslan mohem nist?! haan?!
aidin khoobe?! joori gom shode tooye arzesh gozaarihaash va kasi ke hast o kasi ke nist va chizaayi ke mikhad o nemikhad o harfaayi ke mikhad bezane o nemikhad bezane ke hata mogheyi ke behesh migim biya pishemoon ham nemiyad! injoory khoobe?! bedoone roodarvaasi, aidin dare tike tikeye voojoodamo misoozoone... chon ke tanhaa kasiye ke nemitoonam bahash erteebaat bargharar konam va aroomesh konam, va vaghan doosesh daram... vali hich vaght nemikham shabihesh basham...

avallamoon kheyli ablahan... mohem nist... ye rooz mifahman ke kaaraaye ahmaghaneyi anjam midadan... vaghty mibinameshoon, yade dabirestaanaaye tooye amrica ke tooye in filmaa neshoon mide miyoftam...

aidin behem pelak ro dad... albate be har 3taamoon dad... az baghiye ham mikhaam... ye chize yadegari... har kasi ke bishtar az 25% ehtemal mide ke jozve in daste mahsoob mishe, vasam ye chize yaadegaari bekhare... na bozorg... na gheimati... ye neveshte... ye naghashi... ye ax... ye chizi ke betoonam hame jaa baa khodam bebaram... mesle naghashiye dame khooneye maman bozorgam ke hamishe tooye kife poolame...neveshtehaa paak shodan... akhe baa medad neveshte shodan... garche vaazhehaaye besiyati gom shodeand dar kootahiye zaman................ hatman yadegaari mikham....

mige: nesheste bood goosheye otagh, saresh roo zanoohash, michekid hamintor ashkaa az rooye joft goonehaash, nemidoonest che shekli shode toye in 2nyaa gom, rooye shoonehaash hamash baar bood sangin tar az ye ton...
tahala didin kasayi ke biography bazi mikonan?! hich vaght tooye film khodeshoon shakhsiyate asli nistan... ba inke az hame behtar midoonan chejoory bayad bazi konan...

ye alame harf hast... ye alame... vali vaghty ke gofte nashe, kheyli arzeshesh bishtare... ke vaghty adam be yeki gofteshoon, bege ke man be hata be sina ham ino nagoftam... vali daram be to migam...
khob, eteraaf mikonam ke hanooz hamchin kasi peyda nashode... vali hade aghal mitoonam be khodet begam sina... : inghad ba arzesh bood ke hata be khodetam nagoftam!
bazi moghe haa chizaayi ke migam kheyli ahmaghane be nazar miyan... na?!

maskharast... man maskharam... hata voojoodam ham khande daare... va kheyli chizaaye dige... hamash maskharast o ahmaghane...

vali hanooz nesheste rooye voojoodam az khastegi gard
hanoozam be in omidam ke tamoom she in nabard...
vase hamin goftam ke age man mikhoondam oon tikaro, kheyli bisthar tasir mizasht...

base... na?!
are... base...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

LohrasP jan, hamammon hamin toori hastim, hamamon behesh niaz darim, hamamon ye joraiy oghdasho darm va azash sir nemishim. hamoon joori ke man az mohabate to si nemisham...
na bas nist, bazam begoo, delam mikhad bishtar beshnavam

mamsaleh said...

manam migam bazam begooo...pleaeaeaeaeaseeeeee

sunny said...

(hanoozam nevehste ha medadi an......pak mishan...hamishe maloom boode ke pak mishan)
(daftare talaiy...daftare ghab felezi...albume ax......ye moghe fek mikardam jashoon amne ama alan...nemidoonam che bala iy sare jashoon dare miad.........be nazaret kheili sanginan?faghat baraye anbar kardan...hamin!na baraye khoondan....na dige baraye hichi...faghat boodan!)

Anonymous said...

,در اين اعتراف ِ خاموش
"در اين "همان
که توانَد در ميان نهاد
با لبی
لبي
...بی وساطت آنچه شنودن را باید

[ ... ] said...

[ ... be khatere harase az dast dadan , che chizhai ro az dast dadim . ]